Before I began to make this post I read my old one.
It seems the "woe is me" is a common state of mind for me to fall into....or rather, anyone.

I feel like I am facing a lot of the same things two years ago which is saddening. I don't want to be on a merry go round anymore. I want to get off.

Right now I feel misunderstood and alone in my feelings. I don't even think anyone will be reading this but honestly, I don't think I want anyone reading this.

I have a question future self...

will I be happy? Will I be with someone who stays by my side and wants to be with me?
Who does all they can to share their life with me?

or am I meant to be alone? Am I alone?