Remember there is Good

I am in a "Woe is Me" kind of mood. 

I had to go to the store to buy medicine/cream for a rash I have. It's in such an embarrassing part of my body. It makes me uncomfortable and very itchy. Not a place I can just scratch without people going O_o; Ughhhhh. It's gross. I am praying it will go away and have been keeping myself very clean on top of adding medicine.. I'd rather not have to go to the doctor.

I'm trying to work on cosplay right now but...a song that played caused me to cry and so I sat up and thought, I should just blog it up and post pictures of happy things that have happened to me. It's nice to vent sadness but good to share the happy times as well. Good reminder that my life isn't going too bad. The devil would want me to sulk and focus on the bad. I can't go and do what he'd want! God would want me to look up and remember that He loves me and as long as I am in His will, everything will work out. Oh! A good worship song just came on. Singing these songs of praise really uplift me. Also Satan can't STAND praise to God, it makes him flee. GOOD. I don't need his pathetic presence in my life! Disgusting disgrace. [shakes head] I will be okay. So here's some pics, future Bridget. You had fun this past weekend. : )

Me and friends with a local band!

I had a photoshoot in my pretty new dress ^^

Kitty-Sheik-Chan =^3^=

Me with my Kinu Cafe friends <3

Taken by one of my Photographer friends :D

I WILL ALWAYS BE A MESSY EATER. In a dress or out, I am not so lady-like. Hehe!

*Sigh* Good times, good times. I have more good times to look forward to. I suppose I will continue to pray for all that concerns me and give it to God. I will continue to live and move toward my goals. Faith without WORKS is dead, according to the Bible. I have to keep on fighting the good fight! God knows the love I still have in my heart for someone. He sees every tear I shed in prayer because of this love. He knows my future and He knows what I need, because God gives more than what we deserve. He blesses us with His grace and mercy. Everything will be as it should, according to His perfect and loving Will.
Bless the Lord, O'my soul~I worship Your Holy name for all Your goodness.

[I was litening to 10,000 Reasons by Rend Collective]

-B...

"If it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love."

Photo taken: Johnny's backyard (I went to Ohio!)

It has been over a year that I have even posted in here.

So much has happened but I have learned from all of it which I feel matters the most.

God has really been reshaping my heart with healing and wisdom.

I feel I am beginning to really look at things differently. So much so that I look forward to whatever new relationship God will restore in my life.

Yes. This does mean Johnny and I are not together. Not at the moment anyway. Due to stress and the inevitable, we had to part. It hurt badly, like a part of me was cut off... but through this storm I learned a new peace. In order for me to find what was in my heart it had to be cut open.

"Cause when you're breaking down with your insides coming out, that's when you find out what your heart is made of." - Switchfoot's 'Yet'

I wrote in my journal today and I tossed my old journal full of old memories, most bad. A lot of them had to do with my past relationship and I just want to FULLY move on from that. I saw the error of my ways and I'm ready to move into the new. God is making beauty out of my ashes.

I just pray for Johnny. I still love him so much, unconditionally. I have asked God to forgive me for how badly I treated him and how I blamed him for things that I had held on. I unleashed my anger on him so much when really I needed to give those feelings to God.
Whether we're together or not only our Lord knows and He will show in due time. For now Johnny has his own journey he is on and I will just pray for him from where I am. May he find joy and smiles in his days......

Also I would like the change the name of my blog because I feel I am no longer facing that same storm. I hardly have anxiety anymore PRAISE GOD! I have overcome fears ( I flew to Ohio last year!) I started working on cosplay and painting again with passion. I've definitely been more in touch with my creative side and definitely been closer to my Heavenly Father. God has really used my relationship with Johnny for the better. We're not even together and I'm doing well just praying for him. I do admit I cry but...I try to not stay down for too long, I pray instead. I reroute the emotions toward something good.  : ) Well, I need to sleep. I think I'll try updating this at least once a week. Good night.

- 

B