Getting Back ...

Material for my current project..

Today has been a pretty good day. Although I felt tired and have been blowing my nose since last night I can honestly say I enjoyed today. It wasn't full of anxiety and or depression which is good enough for me! Although I did have a mini panic attack last night for some odd reason. I got an overwhelming sense of fear and worry for Robby...and I really am not sure why. I almost got up to check on him. I just started to worry about him and what he's having to go through because I ended things... but then I reminded myself God has him and that all is well. I feel maybe the enemy tried to bring me down because right before that I felt great! Anyway, I was able to fall asleep as soon as I cast my worries to God and asked for His peace. :)

OH! I am finished with this semester of college AND AM SO GLAD. I'm going to go in sometime though to sign up for financial aid (for next Fall) and pay of some of my bill.... then I will kind of take next semester off with the exception of going in for my Japanese class. Next semester will mostly just be full of working and my hobbies which makes me happy. I hope to get back on track once next Fall starts.

Also good news, I actually brought out my fabric and have it on the ground waiting to be cut! It feels good to get back into my hobbies. I may not have AS much motivation but I am hoping it grows. I really am feeling better after I've done much confessing my feelings to people and especially God! I just feel all will work out. I am happy being close with Pbj now too. He just makes me laugh all the time and has much in common with me. Whenever we don't agree with something we try to understand each others perspective. He grew up in a different setting and around different types of people...so we tend to have very different views but he's very open to change and seeing things differently... which allows us not to like fight. I'm very grateful that he's a Christian because we have the same views regarding faith. He likes when I read out of one of my Stormie books (and she's my favorite author) which makes me happy because she's such an inspiration to me and I feel encouraged after reading. I don't like reading books that leave me depressed and discouraged..; (. But yeah....I like knowing he's there to pray for me and encourage me . He also has suffered from anxiety before like me and knows how it is. It helps me feel not so alone when I explain things I go through; he understands! I don't know how to explain but it's just weird because I really never thought I'd feel such feelings for someone else. Sometimes I still kind of feel bad...like I was disloyal and abandoned R but...I can't help it? The heart wants what the heart wants... Right now it's a bit weird though because my immediate family is so use to R and is very open to him so they've like adopted him in a sense. I feel like he's a family member now and worry slightly of how it will be when I want to physically bring Pbj into the scene... = / I just hope they are accepting. It's my life and whatever God allows, they should allow as well.

I'm always praying for God's will...that matters most to me!

^ ^ Alright, over and out.

Bridget